What's Your Call?

As Christians, we are called to many different things.  We are called to love our enemy; we are called to forgive those who hurt us.  We are called to do difficult things.  And for some of us, those difficult things mean leaving our home country for a foreign land.

Since returning from a visit to the states in May, I have had moments when I really want to go back.  I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want the luxuries of the United States?  Some days, the only thing that keeps you going is knowing, 100% without a shadow of a doubt, that God called you to what you are doing.  We are experiencing that these days.  The things that were so new and adventurous tend to irritate us now.  The culture that seemed so wonderful, sometimes, gets on our nerves!  The "newness" has worn off.  So what do you do in these circumstances?  You focus on your call.

Just this week we've been faced with knowing our call.  People come and go on the mission field all the time.  It almost seems as if more come & go than come & stay.  Events of the past week have helped me know one thing for sure: what my call is.  God has called us to Guatemala.  We know that He has a plan for our lives here, and that we must persevere in doing His work.  It would be easy to pack up and leave when we're having a bad day; I must admit that there have been times when I've looked at airline costs just to see.  But it always comes back to one thing: God called us here, and until He releases us, we are here.  No matter how badly we may want to return to our lives of comfort in the states, we can't.  One of Aaron's professors in seminary told his class that some days the only thing that keeps you going is knowing that God called you to the place you are.  What words of wisdom!

Life is hard, and it's even harder in another country.  But we know that we can't give up or give in to the emotions that we feel.  We have to persevere when things get tough.  We have to push through and fight satan's voice telling us to quit.  That's exactly what he wants.  But, in all aspects of our life, we want our Savior to win.  So we press on, we persevere, we focus on the only thing we can: our call is to Guatemala.  What's yours?

Why I'm Sad

My brain is swirling with so many things right now that this may just end up being a jumbled up mess, but bare with me! I don't want to be critical or judgmental; this is truly coming from my heart. So here we go ...

Lately, I have seen so many things that have really bothered my heart.  I'm not talking about murders or child abuse, although those things disturb me greatly.  I'm not talking about lost people dying without Christ, although that is the saddest thing of all.  I mean, that is exactly why I am living in a 3rd world country - to help spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.  But I'm not talking about those things.  I am talking about legalism at its best.  Christians today are so stinkin' legalistic, and it just makes me sad.  Now I know that I'm gonna make some of you mad, and that's okay.  I'm not worried about it.  What I am worried about is how we as the church are turning people away by our legalism.  I'm not talking about theological issues, either.  I believe that homosexuality is wrong - that's a theological issue that people have problems with.  But that's not what I'm referring to.  I'm referring to the age-old issue of music, for instance.  This is NOT a theological issue.  This is a personality issue.  I prefer a certain kind of music, my parents another, friends another.  But for the sake of Christ, we need to put those differences aside and just learn to worship the Creator.  True, from the heart worship.  As long as the music is honoring to Christ, then why should it matter if it's Southern Gospel, Christian Rap, Praise & Worship, etc?  I get so tired of hearing people talk about how "this" music is "bad" because it isn't the type they prefer.  I told Aaron the other day that I hope when I am old that I will remember that the music that I love today will be "old," and there will be "new" stuff in its place. I don't want to complain about the music that will take the place of the music I worship to today (as long as it is inspired and honors God).  So many people are complaining about the "new" music we have today; have they ever stopped to think that the hymns (or other music) they love so much was once "new," too?  I don't believe that one can worship to ACDC, for example, but Christian music comes in all different genres today.  Let's worship from the heart, whether it's rap, gospel, P&W, etc. and not be so legalistic about what we think is "right" and "wrong."

Okay, so another issue that has been in my radar lately is dress.  Mainly, the way we dress when we go to church.  "You have to wear your Sunday best."  What does that look like for you?  Where I live, "Sunday best" might be a dirty pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  Does that mean that the person wearing them is gonna be shunned by God?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I get so tired of hearing that you have to wear a "suit & tie" or "ankle length dress" in order to have on your "Sunday best."  While I certainly don't think that a person should show up to church in a swimsuit, I don't think there's a thing in the world wrong with wearing jeans to church.  I mean, seriously, where in the Bible does it say that we have to wear a suit?  It's all about the heart.  Is your heart prepared to worship?  Is your heart prepared to hear the Word?  If you are wearing jeans because you are thinking, "well, I'm tired of somebody telling me what to wear" then you are probably not in the right heart attitude.  If you think, "I'm gonna wear these jeans today.  I am so ready to worship the Lord and fellowship with His people" then I think your heart is in the right place.  Why does it have to be that we "dress up" on Sundays?  Shouldn't we give our best to the Lord everyday?

Next, (as I continue on this soap box!) is church buildings.  I've heard "we can't grow if we don't build new buildings" or "this building isn't appealing to people."  Really?  Because our church meets in the garage where we sit in plastic chairs with no heat or air, sometimes no electricity, and lots of noise from the street - and guess what?  We have new people coming all the time.  Now, before you blast me here, I know I am in a 3rd world country and that the "standards" in America are different.  But that's probably part of the problem!  When did it become more important to have the best and newest buildings over going out into the community and spreading the gospel?  I'm not against building programs - if they are truly needed, nor am I against maintenance on the buildings.   But to allow those things to be the focus, well, I think we have gone the wrong way.  To me, that's just another part of legalism.  Quit focusing on  trying to please everyone.  Focus on sharing the love of Christ with everyone.  It should not be about the building.  Does it really have to be "more contemporary" for people to want to come?  Maybe, but if that's your focus, then I think you are off base.  We need to focus more on getting out there and telling people the great story of Jesus.  Be the church, be on mission.  Quit staying inside the 4 walls of the church building thinking that if it's "bigger and better" people will come.

So, I know some of you are thinking that I am being critical, judgmental, and legalistic myself about legalism.  I'm so not trying to be.  I'm just concerned over the church, and writing is the way I express that best.  I'm not perfect by any means, and I used to be so legalistic.  I was the one saying, "look at what he is wearing," or "I'm not gonna sing because I don't like that song," but God has shown me that I only need to focus on Him alone, and let Him worry about the rest.

1 Samuel 16:7b ~ For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

There's No Way I Could Make It Without You

In our house, we like to watch Austin and Ally on Disney Channel.  As a matter of fact, I recently got the theme song stuck in my head when I was scrolling through the song list on my phone (Briggs has the album on his iPod, and thanks to iCloud, it is on my phone, too).  As I was singing the song (to myself, of course, when I was in the shower), it hit me how accurate the words are for our relationship with God.

Listen:
When the crowd wants more
I bring on the thunder
'Cause you got my back
And I'm not going under
You're my point
You're my guard
You're the perfect chord
And I see our names together on every billboard
We're headed for the top
We got 'em it lock
We'll make 'em say "Hey!"
'Cause there's no stopping us
When we hit the same but different
We're never gonna quit
And we'll keep rocking!
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you
It's no fun when you're doing it solo
With you it's like whoa
Yeah and I know
I, own this dream
Cause I've got you with me
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you
You got the skills
And I'm bringing the fire,
You're the fuel to my rocket
And it's taking us higher
Yeah we got my flow
And we're blowin' it UP
All our fans are gonna scream!
'Cause they can't get enough
We're headed for the top
We got 'em it lock
We'll make 'em say "Hey!"
'Cause there's no stopping us
When we hit the same but different
Were never gonna quit
And we'll keep rockin', oh!
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you
It's no fun when you're doing it solo
With you it's like whoa
Yeah and I know
I, own this dream
'Cause I've got you with me
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you
(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
I keep on rockin' with you
(Oh! Oh! Oh!)
And there's no stoppin us
(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
I keep on rockin' with you
Ke-keep on rockin'
I, will keep on rockin!
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you
It's no fun when you're doing it solo
With you it's like whoa
Yeah and I know
I, own this dream
'Cause I've got you with me
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you!
Woaaah
Be here without you
Woaahoh
Be here without you - out you - out you
Be here without you - out you - out you!

Read more: Ross Lynch - Without You Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

I know some of you will think I've gone off the deep end or won't see what I'm talking about.  Some of you will think that some of the words don't fit, and maybe some of them don't.  But the ones that I put in bold certainly do.

Think about it: there's absolutely no way we could even have life if it weren't for God.  He gives us the very breath we breathe everyday.  We couldn't make it through one day without Him.  At least I know I couldn't.  I couldn't do this thing called life without God.  I am what I am and am here only because of the grace and mercy of our sovereign God.

"It's no fun when you're doing it solo, with you it's like whoa."  Think about how much better life is with God.  Trust me, I'm not saying that just because you believe in God there won't be trials and hardships.  There will be plenty. What I'm saying is think about how much worse life would be if we couldn't turn to God during those hardships.

I love the first part of the song where it says: "cause you got my back and I'm not going under. You're my point, You're my guard, You're the perfect chord...."  Seriously!  God "has our backs!"  He is for us, not against us!

So, yeah, it's not an awesome worship song or anything, but I hope that those of you with kids who watch Austin and Ally will think about this the next time you see the show.  Remember: there's no way we could make it without God.  And I'm just saying, "who would want to?"

Lessons Learned in the Dump

As I sit back and think over the last two weeks, I realize there are many things that can be learned from my time in the dump.  Each time I visit there, I'm reminded of all the things I should be grateful for.  And each time I write about them.  I guess it's a reminder to me when I look back and reminisce over past trips.  I hope these things will stick with me more, but I am human, and well, my humanness takes over, and I forget.  So I'm thankful for the continual reminders.  Just this morning as I showered for church, I was reminded that I have a shower.  Sometimes I'm thankful for hot water to take a shower with, but today I was reminded to just be thankful to have a shower.  The lady we built the house for had no shower.  She had buckets.  Buckets to wash herself, her babies, her clothes.  She still has no "real" shower, although she now at least has a pila.  This is a sink with a side scrubbing table that she can use to clean her clothes.  She can use the water from the sink to sponge bathe.  She has no running water inside her house, and the spigots outside in the streets don't always work.  So I'm reminded to be thankful for a tub with a shower head and a place to bathe, a place where I can let the water run over me and feel its warmth.  I'm thankful for a properly working toilet.  Jackeline now has a toilet to use, but she will have to fill the tank with water each time she wants to flush it.  I'm thankful that all I have to do is press the handle down and all the work is done for me.  Did I mention that just having running water inside your house is a step-up from what she has?  Can you imagine having to leave large barrels or buckets outside your door to collect rain water in or walking down the street to try to find water to bathe or wash clothes in?  "Man, I'm so 'lucky'" I think to myself, but in actuality, there's no 'luck' involved at all.  All that I have is nothing more than a blessing from God.  I'm thankful that I don't have to dig through mounds of garbage every day in order to make money for my family.  Jackeline works from around 7:00 every morning until nearly 7:00 every night.  She has two trucks that she works, picking through the garbage on them.  If she misses one day, she is fired and has no way to provide for her family.  These are just a few of the things that I'm reminded to be thankful for when I reflect on the last two weeks.  I could go on and on.  But the lesson I learned is to ALWAYS be thankful.  When I begin to feel sorry for myself or think about the hurt & pain I've endured in my life, I think of the people in the dump.  I see the face of Jackeline, whose lips are so parched from the sun that they are cracked and bleeding daily.  I see the children playing in the nastiness of the street, where garbage, sewage and who knows what else is every where you turn.  I'm reminded to be grateful, to thank God each day for what I have.  Will I forget?  Absolutely.  But will I try my best to remember what I've experienced and seen there? YES!

The second lesson learned from the dump is that I am not nearly hungry enough.  And I'm not talking about food.  I'm talking about being hungry for God and His word.  OH TO HAVE THE HUNGER THAT THESE WOMEN HAVE!  I mean, I pray, I read my Bible, but do I really, truly desire it in the way that these ladies did?  No.  They asked if we could come speak to them.  So we went.  I shared (on the fly, might I add) about God's love and His desire to have a relationship with them.  It was certainly all God speaking at that moment because I was not prepared at all.  We finished and got ready to leave and the ladies asked if we were coming again tomorrow!  The next day I went back, still with jumbled thoughts and no real clarity on what to say.  As we gathered in one of the women's homes, I looked to see about 8 of them sitting there staring at me.  I began to cry as I was so overwhelmed that they were looking to a worthless sinner like me to share the Word of God with them.  They wanted to hear from God, and in that instant, He chose me to share with them.  WOW.  Just WOW!  I was so blown away.  The ladies asked if we could come back once a week and have Bible study with them.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good Beth Moore Bible Study, but really, at the end of the day, am I hungry to hear from the Lord the way these ladies were?  So much can be learned from these women!  Give me that kind of desire for the man who laid down his life so that I might live eternally with him.  I could have spoken to them all week!  For several years, I've really felt the Lord was pulling me away from children's ministry (which is pretty much what I've always done) and into women's ministry.  Now I know why.  For some reason, he is allowing me to be his hands and feet, and allowing me the AWESOME privilege to share His love with the women in the dump.  I'm amazed and overwhelmed!

So as always, I walk away with the reminder to be thankful.  There are so many times when I'm so ungrateful, and I have MUCH to be thankful for.  And I'm reminded to be hungry.  To be truly hungry for the Word of God, the things of God, for God himself.  Oh, Lord, help me not to forget.  May I hunger and thirst for you and your righteousness.  May I seek you as if there is nothing else in this world.  May I not forget the lessons learned in the dump.

Even If

The other morning I heard a song playing that said, “what if the healing doesn’t come? And life falls apart….”  Hmm, haven’t we all been there?  We are trodding along in this life, all seems perfect, and then, BAM, out of nowhere life falls apart.  Where does that leave us?  Where does that leave God?

The song goes on to say that God is still God and He is still good.  Wow.  If I could only grasp that truth!  God is God, no matter what.  Some how in my mind I have allowed myself to believe that “if God loved me,” or “if God was good,” or “if God was sovereign” then life wouldn’t fall apart and things would still be “rosy.”  What am I thinking?  It seems as if I have forgotten that thing called SIN.  Our lives fall apart because of SIN, not because of God.  I know I should know better, but when the storm hits, it becomes easy to “blame” God for what has happened, because after all, He is sovereign and all-powerful.  It’s not that I have some mixed up theology going on.  While I’m no expert, I do know enough to know that God is never to blame for “life falling apart.”  Does God allow certain things in our lives?  AB-SO-LUTELY!  This is how we grow and mature as Christians.  Nevertheless, it doesn’t make it any easier when our lives do crumble before us.  But, as the song goes on to say, God is still God no matter what is taking place in our lives.  He is still forever faithful, and He is still good.

So, what if God doesn’t heal us from cancer?  What if our broken marriage isn’t redeemed?  What if our lost child doesn’t return to the faith?  WHAT IF?  WHAT IF?  We can entertain all the “what ifs” in the world, and one thing still remains: God is God!

If you have a chance, listen to this song by Kutless.  Here are the lyrics.  Read them and think about the fact that God is still I AM no matter what is going on in our lives.

Even If - Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to

Is what we know is true

Of who You are

So when the heartache hits like a hurricane

That can never change who You are

And we trust in who You are

(Chorus)

Even if the healing doesn't come

And life falls apart

And dreams are still undone

You are God You are good

Forever faithful One

Even if the healing

Even if the healing doesn't come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways

So we set our faith in who You are

And even though You reign high above us

You tenderly love us

We know Your heart

We rest in who You are

Chorus

You're still the Great and Mighty One

We trust You always

You're working all things for our good

We'll sing your praise

Chorus

You are God and we will bless You

As the Good and Faithful One

You are God and we will bless You

Even if the healing doesn't come

Even if the healing doesn't come

Weathering the Storm

Have you ever been caught in a storm?  I remember being on the lake once when a storm came.  The waves became huge, and the rain hurt as it pounded my skin.  It was uncomfortable.  I just wanted to be back on land, in the comfort and safety of my home.  Simply put, I wanted the storm to be over.  Sounds a lot like the storms we face in life, huh?

Recently I’ve seen a picture floating around on facebook that says, “sometimes you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, and weather the storm.”  Those are words that are easily said (or written), but in actuality, those are things that are very difficult to do.  In the midst of a terrible storm, it is sometimes even impossible to pray.  We don’t have the words because the pain is too deep.  Have you been there?  I have.  We try to pray, but as hard as we try, the words won’t come.  In those times, I believe that God knows our heart well enough to know that the hurt has impeded us from crying out to him.  The storm has tossed us to and fro, and we are just barely hanging on for dear life. 

This morning we sang Matt Redman’s song Never Let Go (in Spanish, of course) at church.  As the title implies, God never lets go of us, NEVER!  In the midst of the storm when you feel like you are drowning and your grip is slipping, remember that God will never let us go.  He is a shelter in the storm (Isaiah 25:4), and He makes the storm be still and hushes the waves of the sea (Psalm 107:29).  When the storm is raging and you just want it to be over, remember that He is holding onto you!

Something else that struck me from that little saying was ‘bow your head.’  Now I know that it was in reference to bowing one’s head to pray, but I can’t let go of the fact that when our head is bowed, we are not looking up to Jesus.  I know we bow our heads in prayer out of reverence, but in the midst of the storm, our focus needs to be up.  Sometimes the only thing we can do is look to the heavens.  Sometimes simply looking up takes all the strength we have.  When we are weathering the storm, it seems that bowing our head shows defeat.  And when we are in Christ, we are not defeated.  Trust me when I say that I know the feeling of defeat during the midst of the storm.    But Romans 8:37 tells us “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”  We can get through the storm, but only by the power of Christ living in us.

When I was in the midst of the worst storm of my life, people would say, “God will not give you more than you can handle.”  Really?  REALLY??!!??  Come on, people, that is absolutely the worst thing you can say to someone.  I know you meant well.  But, seriously, when in the midst of something that is so unbearable, you tell someone that God knows you can handle what you are going through?  God certainly knows us and what we are capable of.  He knows how many hairs we have on our heads (Luke 12:7).  I believe that God allows things that will draw us closer to him.  I could not handle what I was going through, but praise God that He could!  It’s only through and by His grace that I was able to see that storm through.  It hurt.  It was awful.  I would never wish it on anyone, and I wanted it to be over.  But God had a bigger and better plan for me, and experiencing that storm was part of his plan.  He has shown me through that storm that he indeed doesn’t ever, ever let go, even when we try to let go of him.

So, weather that storm that you are facing.  Look to God, cry out to him, or just be silent in your pain.  He knows.  AND HE NEVER LETS GO!

Things I Miss

It seems that every day there are things we talk about that we miss.  Don't get me wrong, we are enjoying Guatemala and love this country.  However, there are just some things you can't get here… like a juicy Chick-fil-A sandwich with steaming hot pickles.  Hmmmm, we've said daily we wish we had a Chick-Fil-A here!  And how could I forget Publix?  Oh, how I miss shopping for groceries in that wonderful store!  I enjoyed the customer service and the talks with the employees who carried my groceries out and loaded them in my car.  Here's a big one: driving where people follow traffic rules!  Yep, I miss that people actually stop at stop signs :)  I miss people saying what they mean.  While I love Guatemalans, I'm not gonna lie - I'm not fond of the "telling you what you want to hear" mentality.  I just want the truth!  For instance, when both Mark and Buddy were both sick, our vet told us, "Oh, I think they will be fine.  I think it will be okay.  I don't think you should worry."  We LOVE Estuardo.  He is a great guy, but there's a point when I just wanted to say, "please tell me the truth.  Is my dog going to die?"  I appreciate the positive attitude, but really, I just want someone to shoot straight with me!  I miss the ease of doing things in the US.  Things here are great.  We have access to Walmart, a mall, fast food.  We really can't complain.  But, there was a certain ease of doing things in the US that just doesn't happen here.  People just don't understand that sometimes it literally takes an hour just to get to the store and back - not counting the actual shopping and purchasing.  And how could I forget places like Chuy's, American Eagle, Old Navy, Bojangles, Cook Out, QT …. I could so go on and on!  There are TONS of things I miss.  There's new things I think of every day where I'm going, "oh, I wish we had…" or "oh, I miss …" but seriously, I can't complain.  Yes, there are things I miss, but the Lord has been so gracious and kind to provide for us and take care of us.  He allowed us to find coffee creamer that I LOVE for much cheaper than it was at Walmart.  I've been able to get Cherry Dr. Pepper at Walmart.  We've found taco kits that Briggs likes.  We've made some of our favorite dishes from home (excuse me, from the states.  Briggs reminds us that this is home) that we didn't think we would be able to find ingredients for.  I could go on and on about the blessings of God since we have been here, too.  So, yes, there are things that I miss about living in the good ol' USofA, but I wouldn't trade those "inconveniences" for the experiences that we are having here.  We are learning and growing and changing.  And I'm learning that that's not always a bad thing!