Looking Back: It's a Pain in the Neck!

I don’t know about you, but I find myself constantly looking back.  I look back at past decisions, past problems or difficulties, past situations that are all “said & done.”  They are in the past, and most, if not all of these things, are solved.  Yet I find myself still going there and saying, “if only this or that” or “I should have or I shouldn’t have” or “I wish this or that.”  And let me tell you, it can be so tiring! Constantly looking in the past leaves your neck hurting!  Am I the only one guilty?

Just the other day I was thinking back to something that happened nearly 11 years ago, replaying everything in my mind.  I replayed the guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the “what ifs,” the “I wish” scenarios over & over in my mind.  And you know what, it didn’t change a thing! Looking back at events in our lives isn’t always a bad thing, but when we dwell on any part of it that may seem negative and wish we could change it, then it can become debilitating.  I believe that’s why Paul tells us in Philippians to forget what lies in the past and strain forward to what lies ahead (my paraphrase of 3:13).  He then goes on to say in verse 14, “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  If we are continually looking back, then we can’t look forward to press on toward the goal.  What is the goal? A life in Christ, devoted to Christ, for Christ – in all things, Christ!

If our goal is following Christ, then we must look forward!  In my Bible (ESV), the section of Luke 9:57-62 is titled, “The Cost of Following Jesus.” There’s a conversation going on about following Jesus.  In the last verse, 62, “Jesus said to him, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.’”  This verse sticks out to me.  I can look at the field across from my house and see the rows and rows of corn.  In thinking about those nice straight rows, it occurred to me that when one is plowing, if he looks back, his rows will not be straight.  Hmmm, thought provoking!  I think this is Jesus’ way of teaching us to not focus on the past, but to look ahead to the future.  I’m not a farmer, nor do I know anything about farming or gardening.  But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plot of land that has been plowed for planting that has uneven or crooked rows, so I suppose there is a reason.  Maybe it is easier to plant the seeds if the soil is plowed in straight rows? If we are always looking backwards, we will have a more difficult time going forward with Christ and focusing on Him.

Hopefully you are not like me, and you can easily let go of the past and move on.  Hopefully you are not like me and constantly thinking about the “what ifs” of the past.  But if you are, let’s remember to look ahead and stop looking back.  Let’s get that “pain” out of our necks by looking forward to Christ and focusing on him!

The Fight of Your Life

Have you ever felt like you were in the fight of your life?  Maybe not physically, but mentally or emotionally?  I’m sure there is a time that we can all think of where we just wanted to give up, to give in.  A time when there seemed to be no way out, no way to win.  I know I have.  And it’s hard.  Way hard.  Like, seemingly impossible.  But it’s not! 

It reminds me of something I sat and watched several years back.  There was a spider web outside my large window.  I looked out to see some sort of beetle stuck in that web.  I just assumed it was dead.  But as I looked a little closer, I saw it wiggling.  It was trying with all its might to free itself from the web.  And in that instant, the Lord whispered into my heart, “be like that beetle.  Fight with all you’ve got.  Don’t give in. And don’t give up.” 

Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”  God was whispering to my soul that if I would fight, He would be with me.  I should not be in fear of my circumstances, because with God, all things are possible! 

Oh, how I’ve needed that reminder so many times since then!  “Be like that beetle. Fight with all you’ve got.  Don’t give in. And don’t give up.”  What about you?  Have you had those times in your life where you thought there was no way for you to make it out alive?  When you were literally fighting with all your might to stay afloat?  Remember God’s promises to us.  He is with us!  He will even do the fighting for us.  Exodus 14:14 (NLT) tells us, “the Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

Such awesome truth in God’s word.  In those times when you are overwhelmed, when you are in the fight of your life, just trying your best to survive, cling to God and His word.  Trust in Him, and He will act (Psalm 37:5b).

Just Another Day in the Life

Many people often wonder what our daily life looks like.  Do we live in the jungle? Do we have running water? Do we have Wal-Mart?  What exactly is it like to live in a foreign country?

Well, first, let me begin by saying that it is only by God’s grace that we are able to live out our days here in the place we call home, Guatemala.  It is difficult to live in a culture that is not your own; that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to understand.  It is difficult to learn a new language, a new culture, a new way of life.  We’ve been at this for 3 years (November 2016), and it can still be just as challenging as the first day we arrived.

We live near an active volcano, which means volcanic ash is usually present in the air.  Especially when it hasn’t rained for the last 6 months.  Yes, I said 6 months.  We have two “seasons” – the wet season and the dry season.  It rains daily (usually in the afternoons) beginning in May and lasting through October.  It is then dry (with little to no rain) from November through April.  So that also means it is super dusty here during the dry season.  As in, dust blows across the fields, streets, etc.  Have any of you ever heard of the “Dustbowl” back during the Depression Era?  That’s what I think of during the dry season when I see dirt blowing in the air like a tornado.

With that being said, Aaron’s morning starts by preparing the coffee, because we all need a little juice to get our day going!  He then sweeps the downstairs and mops.  He sweeps every morning, and usually every afternoon just to try to keep the dust & dirt at bay.  One look at my kids’ dirty feet will tell you that’s almost impossible.  Breakfast and family devotion take place next.  Then come the dishes.  No dishwashers here, unless you have a maid, which we don’t.  Dishes are hand washed each time we use them, at least 3-4 times daily.  “No big deal,” you say.  “I don’t have a dishwasher, either.”  Washing isn’t so bad.  But do you have to ensure that your dishes are completely dry before using them so that the smallest drop of water containing a parasite doesn’t infect you or your family?  Parasites are a huge deal here.  Just ask any missionary.  In fact, just about this time last year, I came down with an intestinal infection (likely caused by a parasite) that made me wish I could die!  It was horrible in every sense of the word!  So, we try to avoid contamination at all costs.  Which leads to our water.  No clean water here.  And that we are certain of!  We found worms living on the side of our water filter.  Talk about nasty!  I was just about over the edge after that.  We used to purchase clean, bottled water two times per week.  After about a year of buying water, we found a water filter that is ceramic and can be filled with tap water.  It is then filtered and is considered clean.  Purchasing the filter was a huge cost savings.  But what happens on days like today, when the power and water are out?  We have to plan ahead!  We have to make sure that we have extra bottles of water on hand that can be used in the water filter. 

And not only extra bottles of water for the water filter, but for flushing or washing dishes as well.  We were once without power and water for 24 hours.  That was no fun at all.

But most days, we keep power and water, and even get lucky enough to have a decent Internet connection.

After breakfast, I usually head upstairs to homeschool the boys.  Aaron helps with washing clothes (we have both a washing machine and dryer), cleaning house, and daily chores that need to be done.  He also has meetings, pays bills (which can take hours to do), and prepares lessons during this time.  Homeschooling is a little difficult with an almost 4 year old, an almost 11 year old, and a 17 month old getting into everything!  But we manage to complete our lessons, and most days, pretty quickly.

It’s nearly lunch time when we finish school, so that means it’s time to cook.  We have adapted our routine over the last year; we now have our large meal at lunch time.  These meals consists of many of the things that you would eat in the States: hotdogs, hamburgers, spaghetti, soups, etc.  And much to people’s thinking, we do not have “Mexican” food here as you think of it in the States.  We do frequently make tacos on “Taco Tuesday” from the taco kits like you purchase in the States. 

After lunch, we try to go for a walk or take the kids to the park – if it’s not raining.  Aaron leaves for soccer each day at 2:30.  Because he never gets home at a consistent time, we have something simple for our evening meal (dinner or supper, which is it, anyway?) like cereal or PB&J.

While Aaron is at soccer, I try to catch up on any emails, messages, etc.  I also do any house work that needs my attention.  And I keep up with/entertain an almost 4 year old and a 17 month old.  My days are mostly spent at home with the kids.  I usually grocery shop on Sunday afternoons, which is usually my only day “out” and my only “alone” time.

Ready for the most fun thing about living here … the trashcans! I hope you can sense my sarcasm in that.  Toilet paper can’t be flushed here, so it gets put into a trashcan.  Those trashcans have to be emptied often, as I’m sure you can guess why.  It’s just another thing to get used to while living outside of the US.

After we eat supper, we usually watch tv or read or talk about the days’ events.  And then usually by 9:00pm, we are exhausted and can barely keep our eyes open.  So that means one thing: bedtime!  I pray for no earthquakes while we are sleeping.  They are scary enough when they occur during the day, but I especially don’t like them at night when we are not alert.

We awake the next day to start the day all over again – only this time, it will probably be somewhat different than the day before because somehow, things here never occur the same way!