Wednesday, October 6, 2010 (Written about Tuesday Travel)
It is 8:00 America time and 6:00 Guatemala time. I am sitting here with swollen eyes trying no to cry even more as I am so overwhelmed and want to be home right now. Yesterday was probably the longest day of my life, and if I am honest, probably one of the worst. Waking up at 3 am is not good for anyone, especially someone like me who does not handle stress, fatigue, and new things well. I did fairly well on the flights – once we were up in the air. I hated taking off and landing. Once we finally got to Guatemala, we got on a bus and stopped at the mall to get lunch. It took quite awhile because American currency had to be changed for whatever Guatemalan currency is. I’m guessing we sat there for a couple of hours. The food choices there were American so we got McDonald’s. We finally left for what was supposed to be a 4 hour drive to our destination in a city called Rabinal. It takes more like 6 hours on VERY narrow, winding curves where at least half of the way there was no road because it had been washed out from the mudslides they had a week or two ago. We stopped at a halfway point and got ice cream, which was good, but I could have done without. By that time, it was probably 6:00 American time and we still had hours to go. I prayed all day for peace and that I’d be able to just go with the flow, to not get stressed out, but it didn’t happen. We stopped again at Edwin’s house (one of the translators) to get water. Everyone else got out and went inside (we were told this was just a stop for him, but everyone got out – which was fine), but I sat in the bus by myself in the dark in the middle of some city in Guatemala crying. I just wanted to be back home and we had not even made it to our destination yet. I guess some of the fatigue was beginning to catch up to me. We finally continued on, making our way through even narrower roads, up high mountains, back down mountains, all in the pitch black dark for there were no stars or moon shining to light the path. We made it safely to the city, only to find the road to the hotel was washed out. We had to back down yet another narrow road, turn around and try again. We went down another road and got stuck and all had to get off the bus in order that the driver get unstuck. All said, I think we finally ate supper at what would have been 10:30 or 11:00 American time. We made it back to the room around 11:15 or 11:30 where I really had a break down. I had not been able to talk to Briggs or family to let them know we were here safe, and I knew deep down inside my heart that I could not live in this place. I want to serve the Lord and I want to be obedient, but even as I sit here crying again, I just don’t believe this is someplace that I can confidently bring my family to raise them. Today is a new day and breakfast will be soon. We will go to a town 5-10 minutes away called Pacux where Aaron and I will go look at the school there and the rest of the women here will do discipleship with the women of the town who are all Mayan descent. I’m sure in a day or two the shock will wear off and I will see the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, I think that weekly mission trips are good (but extremely difficult), but that I am not suited to do this in life. I feel better able and equipped to work among Hispanic people that are already at my doorstep in America.
**This is the journal from the first day. You will see that some of this is the fatigue talking, some of it not. The only thing I am sure of anymore is that I want to serve the Lord wherever He leads.
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